Troubled Spirits
by thefantasmickah
Summary: She knew it would be the right decision in the long run, but for now, her life felt like it was crumbling around her. Sometimes love isn't enough to save a relationship. And sometimes you have to know what is moving forward and what is moving backwards. (Fourth and final part in my Jeca/Chaubrey series)


**A/N:** This is the final installment in this series. I just wanted to thank you all for reading and reviewing and letting me know what you thought. I really appreciate that. That being said, there are many of you who might not be happy with this story, if you don't understand why I ended it this way, feel free to tell me and we can have a discussion about it. Happy reading!

* * *

"What did I do wrong?" Beca cried into the phone. She knew it was really early in the morning in France, but her life was crumbling all around her.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Beca," Aubrey said softly, probably already awake for the day, or not used to being able to sleep in longer with Olivier being older and sleeping through the night. "You shouldn't have to compromise something like that about yourself just to make a relationship work."

"I tried so hard, Aubrey," Beca's breath was coming in fast and sharp, "What am I supposed to do now?"

Aubrey's voice was calm through the receiver, "I can't answer that for you, Beca. What do you feel that you should do?"

"I don't want to keep him from being happy with kids with someone else, Bree. I don't want them, and I hate that this is all we've been able to talk about since we got married. I just want it to go away."

"What can you do that will make both of you happy? Your happiness is important too."

Beca took a deep breath, trying to think clearly, "If I don't want to be-" she searched for the words, speaking slowly, knowing how her next words may be the most important of her life, "Married to him anymore, that's okay right? If we separate so that we can have the life that we each want, even if it's not together?"

Beca heard movement on the other line and soft muffled words, it sounded like Chloe was awake, Aubrey spoke up again, "You shouldn't stay in a relationship out of obligation if it's not working and you're not happy. You two want different things, it happens, okay? And you're not a bad person for wanting different things, and neither is he."

"So that's that? I'm not going to be married anymore?"

"If that's what you decide, Beca. But this has to be your decision, not mine." Aubrey cleared her throat, "Know that Chloe and I will be behind you whatever you decide."

"Thanks, Aubrey. I should let you go, I know it's early."

"It's no problem," Aubrey said, suppressing a yawn, "I need to catch some shut eye before heading into the office in a couple hours. Keep us informed, okay?"

"Okay," Beca nodded, sighing softly.

"And Beca?"

"Yeah?"

"If you need us, or need a place to stay for a little bit, change of scenery, you know where we are."

"Thanks. I'll let you know."

"Night, Beca."

* * *

"Chlo?" Aubrey looked up at her wife who was gazing at her with adoration, Olivier had fallen asleep at her breast a while ago during her phone conversation with Beca and looked too cute to move knowing that she was almost done weaning him and she would miss the closeness of breastfeeding him.

"Hmm," Chloe motioned to take the little boy from Aubrey, gently detaching him from Aubrey.

Aubrey adjusted her shirt, knowing she would have to pump later on in the morning. "Beca might be visiting us for a while."

Chloe ooh'd quietly, mindful of the young child in her arms, "What's going on?"

"I think she's going to ask Jesse for a divorce."

"Really?" Chloe sat down next to Aubrey on the couch, rocking Ollie slowly.

Aubrey wrapped her arms around her wife and son, her chin resting on Chloe's shoulder, "Yep. She's just not happy with him, she knows that he wants kids and she doesn't, and she feels like he's already starting to resent her for not changing her mind."

Chloe sighed, snuggling back into Aubrey's strong grip, "That's really disappointing to hear."

"I kind of feel responsible," Aubrey admitted.

"What do you mean, Bree?" Chloe turned her head so she could look up at Aubrey.

"I don't know, it was because I talked to Beca about how she was selfish not marrying Jesse because she could."

"Oh, babe, you know that Beca wouldn't have married him if she didn't want to. You just made it so she saw it as an option and that it wouldn't be the end of the world to be married to someone."

"But, they're breaking up, how is that not my fault?"

Chloe stood up slowly, mindful of Olivier, she started walking towards his room to put him in his crib, "Honestly, Bree, from what I've heard from all sides, they were never going to work out if they disagreed on something as fundamental as having children." She disappeared for a moment and then came back out of the room, walking to Aubrey and draping herself on top of her wife, wrapping her arms around the woman she kissed her neck, "You know that an accidental pregnancy would have killed Beca, she never wanted kids, and that's okay. I think it's admirable for Beca to not want to bring up kids in a situation where she may have resented them for being around. Or just not wanting them, whichever. To each their own, right?"

Aubrey kissed Chloe softly, drawing her into Aubrey's touch, "Right." Her hands started to wander up and down Chloe's body, "Have I ever told you how much I love you?"

"Yes, but not in at least a few hours," Chloe almost purred at her touch. "Show me."

* * *

"Jesse, can we talk?" Beca grimaced slightly. This was never a conversation she envisioned having.

"Hmm?" He looked up from his magazine, breakfast untouched in front of him. "What's up?"

Beca looked down at the table, the dark wood grain suddenly interesting and demanding of her attention.

"Beca?" Jesse sounded worried. "What's going on?"

"I don't think we should be together anymore," she whispered.

"What?"

She wasn't sure if he hadn't heard her or if he was trying to wrap his head around what she just said. "We want different things from life, namely you want children and this life that I just can't give you. It's not fair to either of us to stay together when I know that it's killing you that we don't have a kid already."

The magazine fell to the table, the noise muted in the stifling silence that followed her words. "What?" He asked again, and she was getting really tired of him not saying anything. Why wasn't he saying anything?

"I want a divorce."

His mouth was held open, as if suspended in surprise. "I don't think I understand."

"We want different things. And I want you to go be happy with someone who wants to have kids with you and will love them the way they should."

"But-"

"Please, Jesse." Beca felt the tears begin to fall that she had fought valiantly to keep at bay. "I can't be with you knowing that we won't ever be truly happy. Not with you slowly resenting me for us being childfree."

"Childless, Beca. Not childfree."

"See, that's what I mean, Jesse." Beca was starting to understand more and more that she was making the correct decision for her future. "Without kids I am childfree, but without kids, you are childless. It's semantics, but they are important distinctions."

"Why would you think this is what I wanted?"

She shrugged, "Because I know you. And I know you'll make a great dad some day. You'll teach them all about movies and they've have Uncle Benji to make sure they are well versed in Star Wars. You will have a great life and future, just not with me."

He nodded, slumping back in his chair, hand on his mug, the coffee certainly cold to the touch, "And what will you do?"

"I don't really know. I might take a break from work, go visit Aubrey and Chloe for a while. Find myself. Figure out what I want out of life."

"Where you'll spend time with their _kid_."

Beca winced, trying to remind herself that he was hurting and was lashing out at her for being the one to cause it, "I never said I hated kids, Jesse, I just don't want them, you know that."

He suddenly looked ashamed, "I'm sorry."

"Me too," she said. Standing, Beca walked over to Jesse. She kissed him on the cheek, "I love you. And I hope one day you'll forgive me for this."

He watched as she walked away and into the bedroom. He was silent as she came back into the room with a large suitcase and a legal document, "I'll be back in a couple days to pick that up and get the rest of my things. I'm going to stay with Jessica for a little while before finding my own place."

In her final act before leaving the house the last time as his wife she took off her wedding band and placed it on the divorce papers, "Give it to someone who really deserves it."

He took it in his hand and stared at it so hard she was worried it might melt in his hand, he nodded and turned away from her.

"I'll see you around."

* * *

"_Bonjourno_!" Beca said loudly when she spotted the Posen family at the airport waiting for her flight to arrive.

Chloe laughed and wrapped her in a warm hug, "That's Italian, Becs."

Aubrey smiled brightly, kissing the woman on the cheek, "Hi, Beca."

"Hey, Bree. How is the little guy?"

"Not so little anymore, he's practically a grown up now."

Beca crouched down, "_Bonjour_, little man." Ollie giggled and grabbed onto her finger when she tickled his side.

Chloe wrapped her arm around Aubrey's waist and watched their friend and their son, "Come on, everyone, let's go get your baggage, Beca, and then we can head home."

* * *

A week had passed and the following Tuesday found Beca on the carpet in their living room playing with Ollie. "I just feel so free now," she said to Chloe who was making them all lunch, Aubrey was at the office.

"Like you made the right decision in leaving?"

"Yeah," Beca hefted the toddler up and stood up, placing him on her hip and walking over to the kitchen. She put him in his highchair, strapping him in securely how Aubrey had taught her.

Chloe placed Olivier's food in front of him before grabbing a chair so she could feed him. "You know," she said, "At some point you're going to have to go back to your life. We love having you here, but you know that you don't belong here."

Beca sighed and reached for one of the sandwiches on the counter, taking a bite, "Yeah, I know. But it doesn't even feel like it's been that long since we finalized the divorce."

"It's been six months."

"It has. Feels like yesterday."

"You don't stop loving someone overnight, Beca. Even if you know that you weren't going to end up together forever."

Beca remained silent, finishing her sandwich and taking a sip of the water in front of her. "I feel like I failed. Kind of how I thought I would in the beginning."

"You didn't fail, Beca, it just didn't work out. It happens, it doesn't make you a bad person." Chloe wiped Ollie's chin, the baby food managed to get everywhere but in his mouth it seemed, "If anything, you're a good person for realizing the limitations of the relationship and getting out of it before either of you was hurt more."

"I guess." Beca leaned back in the chair. "I just hope he finds someone and can be happy."

"See," Chloe turned to Beca, "And that's why I know you'll be okay. She squeezed Beca's arm, "Because you're already getting there."

* * *

It had been over two years since the divorce and Beca felt better than she had in a long time. It seemed as if her life was finally going as she had planned. Sure she was a couple months shy of thirty and single, but she had never been happier.

She was sitting in a coffee shop working on a new song idea when her phone rang, "Hello?" she answered the phone, it was Jesse.

"Hey, Beca!"

"Hi, Jesse," she laughed, he sounded excited. "What's up?"

"I have great news, Maggie is pregnant!"

She smiled widely, "That's wonderful, Jesse. I'm happy for you." Jesse had remarried earlier that year to a woman he met in line at a movie theater. "How is she?" Beca actually rather liked the other woman, she was a perfect match for Jesse, a movie fanatic in her own right.

"She's just so-" He sighed, a smile in his voice, "I love her so much."

Beca wrote down some words on the paper in front of her, "I know you do. Send her my congratulations, really. I mean it."

"Hey, thanks, Beca," Jesse said softly. Beca's breath hitched slightly, knowing what he meant, "I don't know if I ever told you that."

"It worked out better this way, Jesse. For everyone. I'm happy you're happy. Tell Maggie 'Hi' for me, I need to get back to work now."

"Will do! Talk to you later."

Beca sighed, ending the phone call and looking blankly at the sheet of paper. Suddenly her table was covered in hot coffee.

"Oh my goodness, I am so sorry!" The man said, stumbling to right himself and then grabbing some napkins off the table next to her to sop up the mess of coffee on her papers.

Beca looked up at him, startled.

"And you looked so contemplative too. Sorry about that." He seemed to pause, thinking, "What were you thinking about? Solving world hunger?"

Beca almost couldn't believe this guy, first he spilled his coffee all over her music sheets and then asked her what she was thinking about. The entire situation seemed so ludicrous she couldn't help but respond, "My ex-husband just called to tell me his new wife is pregnant."

He whistled lowly, "Tough break."

"Actually no," she said, taking some of the napkins from his hand to help with the mess. "I'm really happy for them."

"Well, in that case," he lifted his hand for her to shake, "I'm Anthony."

Beca took his hand and gave him a solid handshake, Aubrey would be proud, "Beca."

"Well, Beca," he smiled and gestured, "Can I buy you an 'I'm sorry I ruined what you were working on' coffee? Or have you had enough coffee for the day?" He ran his hand through his hair, looking sheepish.

"Coffee would be great."

He started to the counter when she stopped him, "Anthony?" He turned. "And when you get back, you should join me."

He smiled widely and nodded, "I'd like that."


End file.
